Rusta 5E

Zunga! Zunga! Zunga!

Wooba! Wooba! Wooba!

Scintillating rays of trans-phonic-necromantic-shamanistic-greek-loving of light radiate from the fire like thousands of ravenous ravens and carrion crawlers intent on plucking the flesh clean from Biero’s bones. A mad-woman, skin stretched thin over her face yet wrinkly and sagging at her neck and bosom dances wildly before the fire screaming nonsense to the heavens hoping some tweaked-out mad power is listening in some far off demi-plane. It was then that I knew… Biero would live again but there would be a debt to be paid to a powerful being on another realm, so far from this one it is nearly close at hand.

How did this all begin? It began with some fine spirits Biero had brought on the journey, that and the fine halfling weed upon which he partook far too often for my tastes. It had made him more enjoyable to be around on the trip, but indulgence prior to battle can never be a good thing and like a badly timed throw of the dice can cost you your life. We were facing a number of foul enemies from another plane and guided by an insidious yet attractive tiefling babe. As I gazed upon her bosom wondering if she had any STDs, an arrow soared across the battlefield, straight for Biero’s heart, as if Cupid himself had fired it hoping the tiefling and Biero could be as one, but alas it would not come to be as the arrow dug deep into his heart causing blood to spew from the wound and gurgle up and out of his mouth, spilling all over his enemies as his corpse crumbled to the ground, he fell, eyes open and toward the sky, a strange and maniacal grin upon his face.

I need to stay present. We mortals view time as an ever progressing river eventually dumping us off some grand waterfall when it is in fact more akin to a sea, a dark and storm sea where serpents and kraken await below the depths, their pick of victims utterly and completely random.

The chanting of the ritual increased and I stood up, dropped the robes from my body and painted my face and nether-region in symbols of Ra the almighty, the one, the only true god, the life giver, the mother of all existence, and the bringer of life to Biero. I would see to it that a debt not be left to some far off maniacal power, but to the only deity which mattered. I chanted “Zunga! Zunga! Zunga! RA! RA, BREATHE THE RADIANCE, THE FURY OF THE SUN, THE LIFE GIVING ENERGY THAT YOU HATH BESTOWED UPON EVERY LIVING BEING ON THIS FLOATING ORB! BATHE BIERO IN YOUR LIGHT! LET HIM AWAKEN ONCE MORE, GIVEN A SECOND BIRTH SO THAT HE MAY THROW OFF THE CHAINS OF WEED AND DRINK AND FIND THE TRUE GLORY THAT RA HATH BESTOWED UPON HIM! ZUNGA! RA! ZUNGA! RA!” I grabbed a handful of magical mushrooms and swallowed them whole. Suddenly the world began to swim and RA appeared before me. “RA. RA. I give my life to you, please direct me.” *FIND THE VERMIN OF THIS PLACE AND FEED THEM INTO BIERO’S WOUND, FILL HIS HEART WITH LIFE AGAIN!* “Yes, yes yes!” It all made sense now! I gathered as many beetles, worms, and vermin from the tent in which we chanted. I found fleas, lice, and ticks, then fed them into his gaping heart. As we chanted the wounds began to close and the vermin crawled inside.
His eyes suddenly fluttered open and with that RA was gone, left us mortals to live together once more, but now Biero would worship RA and would no longer partake in the drink or halfling herb.

That is how Biero was reborn.

((I would marry ZUNGA and she would join us on our journey, carried upon a crudely constructed machination on my back. Casting spells on the go.))



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